JIllian Anonby

My boyfriend doesn't care about God

JIllian Anonby
My boyfriend doesn't care about God

Dear friend,

First of all, I am already so impressed with you in realizing the tension between being a daughter of Christ and dating someone who doesn’t understand that. It must be so hard for you and I really do understand the pain and confusion you must be going through.

Also, I’m very proud of you for continuing to pursue your faith and pursue God even though your boyfriend is not. I’m assuming you’re going to church/youth/small group or all three regularly. This is truly the BEST place you can go because these people at church (as imperfect as they may be sometimes) really do have wise counsel for you. Hearing from God regularly through church and His community is the smartest thing you can do.

So, I have a couple pieces of advice for you. First of all, I encourage you to continue to invite your boyfriend to church. Apparently, people need to be invited like a trillion times before they actually accept and decide to come. Don’t lose heart.

Also, he is watching and listening to you. If you are living a life that is God honouring, that is matching God’s will for us (kindness, patience, self control, generosity, love, and yes - being strong in terms of sexual boundaries) he is going to take notice of that.

Side note - my husband is a Christian today because his ex-girlfriend brought him to church and he met Jesus and got radically transformed. So, I’m not opposed to bringing a boyfriend to church.

But . . . here is the hard thing I’m going to say that you might not want to hear: If this boyfriend continues to refuse to show any interest in your relationship with God, you may have to truly evaluate whether or not you are meant to be with him. Trust me, I know many wonderful women of faith who married men who don’t love Jesus and their lives are VERY VERY hard. I don’t wish that upon anybody.

Also, if your relationship with him is causing you to sin sexually and you cannot say “no” to acting upon your temptations, it may be time to take a step back. I know. It’s difficult to hear. But it’s truly because I care, and because I know.

In a nutshell . . . if he in good time shows interest in your faith and is willing to explore all that God has for him, that is a wonderful thing and I would consider staying with him for his journey.

BUT- if he is causing you to sin, against himself and you, or if he is never ever going to budge, I really think it's time to move on.

I know you love him, but God is our first love. And sometimes, He requires sacrifice.

I’ll end with a quick snapshot of my story: I thought I was ONLY EVER going to love this one guy (a guy who was all wrong for me). And then I found a new love. A love that is so rich and pure and full of Jesus. I know it’s hard to imagine now - but it's out there for you.

Girl, you are so precious and so beautiful. I know you will do the right thing, and we are here if you ever want to talk some more.

Always remember,

You are loved

Jill