Emma Vandermeer

To the girl who feels misunderstood...

Emma Vandermeer
To the girl who feels misunderstood...

I don’t know your story. I don’t share your most intimate secrets and pain. I don’t know what struggles and heart ache you have walked through … but somehow, I know if you’re reading this we likely have one thing in common. We don’t seem to fit in a little perfect box this society has selfishly built.

Now I’m not going to sit and stew about all the things wrong with the world. I’m not going to let the sting of rejection and the pain that demands to be felt dictate my purpose or stop me from speaking the truth that the Lord is singing over me to share with each of you. But I will tell you I’m one of the misunderstood.


I am often told I am too much for simply being myself. My little quirks are quite extreme and aren’t exactly similar to those of the small town bubble I’ve spent my brief existence living in. I will tell you that I love boldly and feel deeply and somehow that’s not what our world is looking for, as so much of society is not kind to big-emotioned people.

I don’t know you’re story, but I want to tell you that even if it hurts to hear it - fitting in is overrated.


Perhaps you posses an unrelenting love for the Lord that those around you can’t quite grasp or maybe you love music in a sports-driven community.

Whatever if may be, feeling misunderstood often does not have a particular obvious reason. In many cases the unrelenting negative feeling of not fitting in or being comprehended by those around you is a lie of the enemy out to steal, kill and destroy the amazingly unique legacy God has set out for you to fulfill.


I wish I could lay out all the beautiful things feeling misunderstood has taught me on a silver platter, but life is all about the journey and I am not yet to a place where I have it all together. I don’t know quite why God has not allowed me to feel loved by the “popular crowd” … but by not fitting in I have picked up a few truths along the way.


If you want to soar you need to learn to drop the baggage of the often cruel world around you. 

Don’t let yourself become tied down by earthly treasures and what others think of you, if they don’t lift you up don't let them stunt your growth or progress.

People don’t make history by going with the crowd.   

The masses of people trying to fit in never make the history books. It's the ones who dared to move beyond social ridicule and not look back at what others thought who really influence the world on the biggest scale.


You are lavishly loved, even when it feels messy.

The King of the Universe knew that the world was in enough pain that He had to die for it to be saved. Jesus has turned every messy feeling and heartache into a message and He has won the grave. If the One who sculpted to universe loves YOU enough to put you in the story of the world AND give His life for you, not feeling understood should be nothing but a minor inconvenience.


Now notice above I said “should be nothing but a minor inconvenience” but you see, human nature walks in the picture and makes mountains out of mole hills. It’s so easy for someone to walk up and say there's billions of people in the world so what if the 500 or 1000 people in your high school don’t seem to understand you? But what's easiest to say isn’t always easiest to hear.


Girl, I get that it isn’t easy. I know how it feels to cry yourself to sleep because a pit called loneliness driven by misunderstanding has taken hold of you. I know that pain must be felt in order to move on with life.

I also know that not fitting in and not being understood is simply a part of living like Jesus did.


Jesus once said “When they hate you, remember they first hated me.” I’m not prepared to get overly religious on you, because it is Jesus that heals the pain not religion, but I will say that not fitting in is a sign that He has a divine purpose for you.


Girl, remember this is just a season.


You will make it through.

You have a whole destiny before you.


Don’t give up.

Don’t cave to the societal pressure of changing yourself to fit in, because the bold and beautiful daughter of the King you are is the most beautiful thing you could ever be.


Know you aren’t alone.

You're not the only girl who feels as if she will never be understood. There is something beautiful in knowing that we stand together.


Above all, know that you have value no matter what others think of you.


Like I’ve said before, I don’t know what you’ve walked through, I don’t know what your ears have been forced to hear and your eyes to see, but I do know that beyond this season of being misunderstood, un-comprehended and not fitting in you have such a precious, bold and beautiful calling on your life to fulfill.


Endless love,



Emma is a 15-year-old self-proclaimed dreamer and justice seeker. She is a daughter of The King, a writer, worship leader and a lover of butterflies. Her debut poetry book Societies' Cries is now available on her website here. We are thrilled to also have Emma part of our growing GIRL365 team!